Dumb Advertisements

This is a collection of adverts that didn't come off quite as intended. These are all adverts I have seen or heard for myself, so I know they actually existed. If a scan of a print advert is included, it will probably have been shrunk to allow for considerate downloads; relevant text will be included in the advert's discussion.

NOD32 Antivirus System

Found: 07/01/12

NOD32. Swift. Nimble. Relentless

Can you describe your antivirus software with the same certainty?

This advert is for ESET's antivirus system (download from eset.com.) I think the idea is that this, um, ninja is representing the NOD32 antivirus system. Since ninjas are silent but deadly, the implication is that NOD32 is silent (doesn't impact your system performance) but deadly (to viruses and other malware.) The ninja has a deadly dangerous sword that will be used to kill all that evil malware.

The thing I like about this advert is that the SBD ninja is actually holding a kendo shinai practice sword. You can whack someone with one and it'll hurt. But deadly dangerous? I dunno about that. The implicit message this advert leaves with me is that the NOD32 antivirus system is only for practice, go somewhere else for a real antivirus system.

Update: 07/12/10

Apparently, ESET realized that ninjas need more than a practice sword to do their job. So they've replaced that practice sword with a bamboo stick. Bamboo sticks must work better than practice swords when squashing viruses.

Microsoft Networking

Found: 97/05/27
Microsoft has a a truly wonderful commercial extolling the virtues of Microsoft networking. In the background was some of the best music I've ever heard in a commercial. It was from Mozart's Requiem. This requiem is a truly exciting piece of music; even the parts that Mozart didn't write are quite nice.

However, the section used isn't quite the best choice of music to be used in advertising. It was the Confutatis section. Here's the Latin lyrics used in the commercial:

    Confutatis maledictis, flammis acribus addictis

Here's a translation pulled from the web:

    When the wicked are confounded,
    doomed to flames of woe unbounded

As a Micro-phobe, I find this music particularly appropriate for this commercial.

I think some advertising genius doesn't know Latin.

Text copyright 2007 by Wayne Morrison, all rights reserved.

Storm Monkeys