Final Thoughts of the Night, 2018

Each night, shortly before going to sleep, I tell my wife a Final Thought. These may be funny, they are sometimes dumb, they may be vaguely story-like, they may be pseudo-philosophical and intelligent-sounding, they may be almost mythic from a spur-of-the-moment mythos. The topics have spanned a wide range of subjects: animals, steampunk, food, technology. Anything that pops into mind is fair game. The full story is at the bottom.

January, 2018 180320When doing the kitchen renovation, we spent so much time agonizing over a huge pile of decisions. Do we want this type countertop? Do we want that type flooring? Do we want to knock out the wall between the kitchen and the dining room, or just make it a half-height bar? It seemed like we were wasting an excessive amount of time, all for little effect. Having lived with the completed renovation for a year now, I can look back and say that I am so glad we agonized over all those decisions. 180119Trump is a cunning plan of the Republican Party to make us look back with fondness on the days of Bush 2. 180117The Rule of Punctuational Elegance states that consecutive punctuation must only be placed in groups that are prime numbers in length. 180116One of the notable features of the Squirrel programming language is that it provides tail recursion. With a name like Squirrel, how could it not provide tail recursion? 180115Someone needs to invent an autonomous, mobile, hot~water bottle. You'd put it in bed at your feet and it would slowly crawl around under the covers searching out the cold spots. Once it had warmed up an area it would move onwards to another cold spot. It would keep this up all night, keeping the whole bed toasty warm. 180114Anyone with any sense knows that it's very dangerous to read or send texts while driving. I saw a billboard on this issue, with lots of text talking about this danger. It really makes me wonder about the people behind that PSA campaign. How could they not see that this was a different form of the same issue? Reading dense billboards is just as bad as texting for pulling focus and concentration away from the road, resulting in distracted driving. 180113Stephen Hawking recently predicted that humanity is dangerously close to the tipping point where species doom is inevitable. If that's true, then I might as well go on and have that third piece of chocolate cake. 180112Magnets are proof that God loves us and wants us to have fun. 180111The Fifth Doctor said, "A man is the sum of his memories". I don't think that's really true. A person is the product of their memories, not the sum. For one thing, with imperfect memory storage and recall, our memories can affect each other. We might remember a particular event, but put it in the context (e.g., time, place, season, participants) of one or more unconnected memories -- thus creating a new memory from the combination of the old. In addition, our memories can be acted on by our imagination and create completely new thoughts and ways of thinking. All these new thoughts, created from and in conjunction with the old, are what makes a person. 180110Through the power of language, the Doctor always wins. The Doctor's enemies always want to do things to him, but they never manage to succeed -- because they get confused by his name. If they're doing things to him, is it still Doctor Who or should it be Doctor Whom? Which takes precedence, the name or the grammar? By the time the enemies come to a conclusion, he's already won the game. 180109Despite the old stereotype, Vikings did not wear horned helmets. Of course their helmets didn't have horns, that would be just silly. Who in their right mind would put horns on their war helmet? Viking helmets had antlers. 180108I keep hearing that when pets die, they cross the Rainbow Bridge into a blissful afterlife. The road to Asgard, and thus Valhalla, passes over Bifrost the Rainbow Bridge. This indicates that Odin has changed strategy. Instead of getting warriors to fight for him in the upcoming Ragnarok, Odin has decided to rely on the the loyalty, strength, and valor of pets to help him defeat Hel and her army. 180107Q: What is a cat's favorite part of Carmina Burana?
A: O For Tuna!Grandson of Dumb Joke Week
180106I was wanting some positive blood oranges, but all they had were AB-negatives.Grandson of Dumb Joke Week 1801051100 years ago, the Vikings tried to colonize North America. It didn't quite work out, but they did make their mark on an area in the Central Atlantic region. It was known as Norse Carolina.Grandson of Dumb Joke Week 180104Q: What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A: Blood oranges.Grandson of Dumb Joke Week
180103During dog church services, the plate is passed during the arffertory.Grandson of Dumb Joke Week 180102Q: What is an owl's favorite dessert?
A: A hoot fudge sundae.Grandson of Dumb Joke Week
180101When we got pregnant, we tried to have a "Gender Reveal" party, but everyone kept telling me to put my pants back on.Grandson of Dumb Joke Week

Final Thoughts of the Night -- The Full Story

I started writing these after talking with my wife about the last words one might say to their loved ones before dying. Rather than leaving to chance the possibility that I might die in my sleep and maybe having said something dopey to her -- rather, not having said something dopey to her -- I decided to ensure that one of the last things I say to her each night is something dopey.

Thus, I undertook the "Final Thought of the Night" project. Each night, shortly before going to sleep, I tell her a Final Thought. These may be funny, they are likely to be stupid; they may be vaguely story-like; they may be pseudo-philosophical and intelligent-sounding; they may be almost mythic from a spur-of-the-moment mythos.

The topics have spanned a wide range of subjects: animals, steampunk, food, bodily secretions. Anything that pops into mind is fair game. Animals are a big focus because it's so easy to say something about animals. I hope I'm not repeating anything, but I am making absolutely no effort to ensure that repeats don't happen. If you see the same idea multiple times, that might mean it's something I think about more than other things.

More final thoughts are available here:

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